Obituary
by Brandy-Layne
Summary: Sara reads an obituary in the morning paper. Grab a tissue as this even made me cry, and I wrote it. Please review


Sara Sidle sat at her kitchen bench going through the paper. She loved this time of the day. He shift was over and she no longer had to deal with the politics and whining that went along with being shift supervisor. A cup of strong black coffee in her hand, morning sun streaming in. Nice. She no longer felt the need to work 24 / 7. She now stopped and smelled the roses every once in a while.  
  
Lately, Sara had taken to glancing over the obituary page. She put it down to growing old. At fifty she just couldn't help but look, waiting for the day she recognized a name.  
  
She didn't expect today to be that day though.  
  
Nicholas James Robert Stokes Of Las Vegas and previously Dallas Texas Passed away peacefully in his sleep. Remember fondly, missed dearly. Memorial service Thursday 22nd at Pine Mountain Cemetery All who knew and loved him welcome.  
  
Sara stared, coffee half way to her mouth.  
  
It was her reaction that surprised her most of all. She wasn't sad or upset. She was relieved. Yes relief. That was what she felt.  
  
Truth be told, Nick had truly died about 15 years ago. Sara still remembered that night clearly.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
"What's the job?" Sara asked.  
  
"MVA. Car meets petrol tanker. Multiple fatalities. Tanker leaked and caught fire. It's going to be ugly," was Nick's reply.  
  
She shivered slightly. She hated dealing with burnt victims. The smell stuck with you for days. Not physically but mentally. She couldn't help but think that was another reason she was vegetarian. The smell of human flesh was just too similar to animal flesh.  
  
Changing subjects, she asks Nick, "So how are Julie and the kids?" She smiled at the board grin that split his hansom face. The same goofy grin that had crossed his face for the last three years since he met her. The addition of his twin girls just made the grin bigger and goofier.  
  
"Great. Julie wanted to know if you want to come over for dinner this week. I think she is in need of some adult company. There is only so much conversation you can hold with 18 month old children."  
  
"Sure. That sounds great." She knew that Nick wanted Julie and her to get on. After all, Sara was one of his best friends and he thought his two favorite ladies should have that same friendship. They were working on it.  
  
Being perfectly honest with herself, she admitted jealousy played a high role in the tension both she and Julie felt towards each other. Jealous that Nick had found the love of his live when she had spent so long chasing after Grissom to no avail, and jealous that Nick's true love wasn't....... her.  
  
Not that she had ever been in love with Nick, but she had always thought of him as her ... backup plan. It was a bit of kick up the ass to realize all of Nick's flirtations and close friendship had not been feelings of love on his part. They were merely flirting and close friendship.  
  
"Madison is talking non stop now. She is so gorgeous. Amy doesn't talk much but I think that is because Madison is doing it all for her."  
  
Nick continued on about his gifted children (in his opinion of course) while Sara drifted off and watched the street lights shoot past. She loved Nick and loved his kids but she sure got sick of hearing about them sometimes.  
  
Five minutes later they arrived at the scene. Nick seemed completely oblivious that he had been talking non stop to someone who had been quietly nodding off to sleep.  
  
Hoping out of the SUV they were greeted by Detective O'Reilly. "Got an ugly one here. Coroner has arrived by still waiting for the Fire Department to cut out the Vic. So badly burnt we can't even tell if we are talking males or females."  
  
Walking towards the scene it was hard to tell where the tanker stopped and the car began. Not only were they nothing more than burnt out shells, the car was mangled into the front of the truck right about where the drive would be.  
  
Glancing at what was left of the truck, Sara saw what used to be a human being. Now what was left looked more like a bad prop from a B grade horror flick.  
  
"Man," Nick said. "What a way to go. At least the driver of the car would have died instantly. That truck driver was probably trapped and couldn't do anything while the truck burnt. Hope he was dead or unconscious." Nick shrugged, trying to dispel that creeping feeling that inches its way across your body at particularly gruesome scenes like this.  
  
Just then one of the Fireries yells out "Looks like we might have a baby seat back here. Hard to tell from here but there is a large mass in the back seat.  
  
"Damn, that poor kid." Nick shakes his head, no doubt thinking of his own children tucked away safely in their beds.  
  
"O'Reilly, got an ID on anyone yet?" Sara called.  
  
"Not yet. Managed to make out the license plate on the car. 956 TGR. Just waiting for dispatch to get back with the registered owner's details."  
  
Sara nodded and started pulling on her gloves. "What do you want me to do, Nick. Skid marks?"  
  
When her question was answered by silence, she turned to find out where Nick was. He hadn't moved. "Nick, are you OK?"  
  
He turned to look at her. "What did he say that plate number was?"  
  
"I don't remember, why?"  
  
"What was that plate number!" he shouted at her.  
  
She called for O'Reilly to come back who repeated the plate.  
  
Nick started to shake his head. "No, it can't be." He is obviously distraught. He brings his hands to his head. "Oh God no."  
  
"Nick, what's wrong. What's going on. Do you know that plate?"  
  
As soon as she says it she realizes the problem. Most people rarely remember any plate number other than their own. "Oh God no." She come over and puts her hands on his shoulders. "Are you sure?"  
  
He looks at her, his eyes wide, fear verging on panic, verging on despair. In a whisper, "I think so. I ..... I can't remember now."  
  
Just then a uniform officer walks up to the detective. "Got an ID on those plates. Registered to a Julie Louise Stokes. Lives over on Tarcoola Drive, south side."  
  
Sara's heart sinks. She turns back to Nick and takes him in her arms. "Oh Nick I am so sorry." Tears are streaming down her face.  
  
She can feel Nicks own tears fall on her shoulder. Sobs wrack his body. Then he pulls away shaking his head back and forward. "No, it's can't be. It isn't her. It isn't my girls. It can't be. I would know. I would feel it...." He looks at Sara. "Wouldn't I?" She can't answer him.  
  
He walks away from her, past her, towards the scene.  
  
"Nick, don't!" she calls to him. She rushes up to him. Placing herself between him and the wreckage. "Don't do this Nick, come back to the car with me. Let me get a Paramedic to look at you OK" Shock was definitely becoming a concern.  
  
He has stopped and is looking past her. Looking at the scene.  
  
Behind her the fire department have managed to remove the roof of the car and were now pulling out the driver.  
  
"Got a second infant in the back. Looks like twins." A voice behind her. She can't pull her eyes from Nick.  
  
His face screws up. So upset now tears can't even flow anymore. He drops to his knees. Silent, stone and then... as scream. A scream Sara will remember to the day she dies. A scream that will tear her from her deepest sleep for the rest of her life. A scream so heart wrenching it could only be described as primal. A scream that made every last person at the scene, be they fire man, police, bystander or animal, turn and look at the man on his knees in the middle of the street being held and rocked by a brunette woman. No one knew him but everyone knew the sound of inconsolable loss.  
  
Sara cradles Nick until he stops screaming, until he stops crying, until he stops living. Yes, his heart still pumped his blood around his body, his lungs continued to draw in life giving air into his body, but his mind closed down, unable to cope with his loss.  
  
Sara watched as he just sat there. Staring into space. Paramedics check him over, but there was no reaction. Police tried to talk to him, no reaction. Sara came back to him and held him again. No reaction. He never reacted to anyone or anything ever again.  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Sara shook herself out of her trance. "Oh Nicky." A single tear falls onto the paper.  
  
That had been the start of the disintegration of graveyard team as she knew it.  
  
No one realized before that night that Nick had been the glue that kept them together. A steadying, calming presence that smoothed out fights before they even began. A shoulder for each of them to cry on. Someone you could bitch to when the job or people got to be too much. A friend to laugh with when you had some news to share. Nick.  
  
Within a year the team had fallen apart. Grissom left shortly after Nick went. True to his word, there was no cake in the lunch room. Just a hand written note that simply read Cath, the job is yours now. Gil  
  
That was it. Nothing else.  
  
Cath only lasted another 3 months before she high tailed it out of there. Said she couldn't handle the fighting and bitchiness that had developed between them all. Moved up to Reno somewhere.  
  
Then both Greg and Warrick were gone. Greg poached by the FBI to work in their federal lab at Quantico. Warrick changed career and became a lecturer at ULV. Still there as far as she knew.  
  
She didn't know if anyone else knew about Nick. Didn't know if anyone still went to see him. She had tried. She went and saw him a few times after that night, but couldn't keep doing it. It was too hard. The last time she saw him was about 9 months after the accident. The sight of him broke her heart.  
  
He had been seated outside of the hospital ward in the shade of a large oak tree. The scene made even more depressing by the fact the day was absolutely glorious. Sun shining, birds chirping, nice soft breeze gently blowing her hair. They could have been sitting in the middle of a hurricane and Nick would have pain no more attention.  
  
She looked over him. He didn't even register her presence. He was dressed in a standard issue hospital gown. The gown was unable to cover the loss of weight. Gone were his broad shoulders, strong arms, muscles wasted away. They had also let his hair grow. Nearly to his shoulders by now. Obviously had not bothered to shave him recently either.  
  
One of the caretakers walks up. "So nice to have a visitor isn't it Nicholas," she smiles at him. To Sara she says, "He looked at one of the other nurses last week. That is a good sign isn't it." To Nick, "A very good sign." No reaction. She walks away.  
  
Sara sits with Nick for a couple more minutes. Never receiving any sign of recognition. No sign of life in those once expressive brown eyes. She has to leave. She stands and bends down to give him a kiss on the lips. "Goodbye Nick. I love you. I miss you." Tears fall from her eyes as she turns and walks away for the last time.  
  
She passes the caretaker from before who nods in acknowledgment. Sara stops and turns to her. "Can you cut his hair and make sure he is shaved. He hated looking messy. And his name is Nick, he hated being called Nicholas." The nurse stares and nods her confirmation.  
  
Sara went home and cried. That was the day Sara let go of her best friend. She never went back to the hospital. Never again made contact with the Stokes family. Never thought of him sitting there alone, vacant, dead.  
  
Again, Sara snapped out of her personal thoughts. This time by the sound of the phone ringing. She walks over and picks it up. "Hello."  
  
"Hello, may I speak to Sara please." She knew that voice.  
  
"Warrick, Hi." She knew why he called. Knew he had been reading the paper.  
  
She received several calls that day. Catherine, Greg, even Grissom. They had all agreed to meet up before the funeral and hold their own personal wake for Nick.  
  
Emotionally drained she decided to turn in. As she started to drift off to sleep she felt soft lips brush hers and a soft, deep, Texan accent say, "Goodbye Sara. I love you. I miss you."  
  
She fell asleep with a smile on her face and dreamt of her best friend. 


End file.
